24 Aug Stop worrying. You’re just human! 10 inspirational tips from a sophisticated woman.
During my trip to the Tri-City, I met a woman who impressed me so much that I dedicate her my today’s post! Not only she told me her difficult story, but she also shared her lessons learned from her own choices. Honestly? I think every woman should read it.
I noticed her immediately. She was staring at the window, her face was very calm. She looked so dignified and elegant that I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I took courage and asked if I could sit next to her. I didn’t know that she would turn out to be such a wonderful, warm woman who will boost my confidence! My only mistake was, I didn’t ask her name. 😭 I will call her Danusia. This name suits her very well.
As soon as I told her what I do for a living, she got right into details. She was honest and her voice was balanced. She said she was happy that women live differently today. I had to tell her that women still struggle with self-acceptance, stereotypes and good manners. In exchange, I’ve heard thoughts that can inspire more than one woman. The experience of a woman aware of herself and what she experienced. From woman to woman. 🌹 Straight from the heart and with the heart in her hand.
Danusia started at full speed. “Stop worrying, you’re just human! Always remember that.”
Danusia admitted that she devoted her life to the family, and now she is alone. She never became a mother. Her husband never wanted children. She was going to Bydgoszcz to visit her friend whom she has known since she was a child. Another example of a beautiful friendship between women! Recently, I read about eight friends who bought a house together! They will live there in old age. They have been working together for over 20 years and are confident in their friendship. The house is currently undergoing a major renovation. But ok, let’s go back to Danusia!
She was going to visit her friend. They help each other. When I asked where is her luggage ( she only had a paper bag), she replied that she has her belongings at her friend’s place. She doesn’t want to carry luggage every time she travels there. In the paper bag was hidden a red lipstick, without which she does not leave the house. Now and then she corrected her lips, taking a short break to gather her thoughts.
I’m more than happy to invite you to an inspirational text about a woman who has found happiness in retirement (that’s what Danusia said). About the fight and the problems that each of us can identify with. You don’t have to wait until retirement to start making changes.
1. The most important thing is to accept yourself.
Danusia lived like a shadow, not disturbing others. She counted on family acceptance. In her eyes, that’s what she needed most. She faced constant criticism of her mother, husband, and mother-in-law. It was always too little, too slow, or not good enough. She took all the guilt, though she felt bad. Today she knows that she didn’ t accept herself. She didn’t understand that she was allowed to be herself! No one has told her she could be wanting more, and her voice matters. And so she lived like a punching bag that helped others calm their nerves. ❤
When she was left alone, she suddenly found the feeling of peace and acceptance. There was no one to want anything from her. The emptiness began to bring her relief. She began to rest and do the things she wanted. She started reading and asking questions. She doesn’t blame herself for how her life went. Reconciliation with the past is part of the acceptance.
A few weeks ago I wrote a post about self-acceptance. Make sure you read it 🙂 https://magdanetkowska.com/en/knock-knock-whos-there-its-a-new-me/
2. People who
critisize the most, fear the most.
Danusia told me directly that she felt guilt and shame because she was a bad daughter and wife. She was always silent. She didn’t know how to deal with criticism from loved ones. Today she knows that those who are the most afraid are shouting the loudest. It’s the only way they can unload their frustration. It’s not really about you. You’re not the one to be blamed. You’re not the problem. The problem starts when you take their criticism too personally. ❤
There will always be someone who will attack. There will always be a person who won’t like something. Every one is criticized. You won’t change the world, but you can change your approach. It is worth remembering.
3. Make mistakes! You’re just human!
She admitted that she wanted to be a perfect daughter, wife, and daughter-in-law. The perspective of failure was enough for her to stay locked up at home. What did it get her? The sense of failure and loneliness. For most of her life was lonely. What happens when you make a mistake? You’ll learn a lesson! What happens when you do nothing? The question, What would happen if? will haunt you for life. The heartbeat and voice of intuition are worth listening to more than a golden cage in your head. ❤
4. Switch fear into curiosity.
Danusia was afraid to be curious. She did not ask questions, only assumed the worst-case scenario. That’s what her mother and grandmother did. They always predicted the worst. They wanted to protect her and made her anxious. She hasn’t completed so many ideas. She hasn’t experienced so many adventures. That’s why she doesn’t want you to make the same mistake. Be curious! Read! Learn! Ask questions! This is a recipe for a happy life. ❤
Giving up dreams is not a solution that will bring you happiness. A sheltered life with predictable decisions doesn’t support self-realization. No dreams? No plans to spin? You might as well sleep for the rest of your life.
5. Own your decisions. Not everywhere women have the right to do so.
Danusia in retirement got a second chance – living on her own. Not every woman is lucky and able to decide about her life. The freedom of women in the world is not the same everywhere! There are places where women have no rights and are not allowed to do anything against the will of a man. ❤
She believes that every woman has an internal compass that tells the right solutions. If you don’t feel happy with your partner – leave. If you don’t like your job – change it. If you hate your body – get to know it better. If you are a slave to your thoughts – start asking questions. In every age. In every life situation. You have the right to make the decision.
6. You are your biggest joy!
Her biggest obligation was to make other people happy. She took the role of a slave from her home, the happiness of others above all. And that’s how she lived most of her life, surrounded with happiness that wasn’t hers. Other’s people happiness isn’t yours. You are your greatest joy that no one can take away from you. ❤
I admit I had goosebumps when she spoke these words. Each of us wants to be happy! We make decisions that often contrary to our internal compass. Look for happiness inside, not around. Happiness isn’t people, but one specific person, YOU.
You write your own story.
7. Find your femininity.
Have your vision of what kind of woman you want to become. Every woman should have her definition of femininity. After all, you decide what is important to you. Danusia discovered her femininity when she retired. She could never speak about it with her mother. She used her as a role model for years. Now she knows that the most important is to write your own story. Based on your needs, wishes and passions. You accept your body and all the processes that are taking place. ❤
I haven’t heard anything so real for a long time. We run into the costumes and masks, trying to cover up what is most beautiful in us.
8. You’re not a gift. People don’t have to like you.
It’s a continuation of my previous thought. Important enough that it deserves a separate paragraph. Even the most beautiful gift is not enough if the wrong person is gifted. Be careful. You don’t live to fulfill the wishes of others. You’re not a toy to cheer up others. You matter for yourself. ❤
9. What piece of advice will you give for a girlfriend who’s struggling with the same problem?
Danusia’s girlfriend is her greatest inspiration. Thanks to their friendship, she survived the worst moments. Danusia was always more forgiving and realistic about her friend. If she could look at the problems from her perspective, she would have a different point of view. She would be able to make decisions more freely. And this is her second to last advice for you. In difficult situations, think about what you would advise your girlfriend if she were in your place. You will get rid of the critical thoughts that are blocking you. ❤
10. Your fear says NO while your intuition says YES.
Do you know the difference between fear and intuition? Fear screams loud – NO at all your plans. Intuition, however, whispers – YES, so that you can move forward. It was easier for Danusia to follow her fear and ignore the whispering of her intuition. But easier doesn’t mean better. She lived her life to put her intuition to sleep. She didn’t understand the difference between the two. Today she knows she needs a different approach. You mus
Let me say quite sincerely that I absolutely relate to this. Danusia made me realize that I also didn’t see the difference between fear and intuition. I mean, I knew that I hear both voices, but I was confused about which voice means what.
FEAR = NO
INTUITION = YES
Life brings surprises! Like when you meet people who change your life. That was my case. Because my train had a delay, I met Danusia. Beautiful personality, honest, wise, and empathic. I wish I had made a photo of her! I also feel like I didn’ thank her enough. It was a wonderful meeting. She also made me forget about my yoga mat (I’ve lost it on the way to the train station. It was my beloved mat, we went through a lot together).
Once again I decided on a post that has little to do with authentic style. Only seemingly. I know what I’m doing 🙂 Clothes are the last stage. You need tools to build your wardrobe. Without a solid construction, your wardrobe will collapse under the weight of clothes. If you want changes in your look (and life), you need to start thinking differently. Without work, old habits will return quickly.
Understand the emotions that keep you at a distance, and you’ll find out what you need.
On behalf of me and Danusia, thank you for taking your time and reading this post. There are no random people in our lives. You never know if your story will help someone who struggles and doesn’t know what to do. Always remember that you are not alone.
If you like today’s post, share the ling with your girlfriends! Let’s reach as many women as possible. Perhaps you want to share your won story with us? Use the comments section below and feel free to share your experience. I can’t wait to get to know you better. ❤
Let the power be with you, goureous!
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