Clean your wardrobe with stereotypes and prejudice!

Time to say it loud – other people’s patterns, views, and emotional processes ruin your wardrobe and your style! I invite you to the next post, which I hope will open your eyes to the problem with which WE – women have been struggling for generations. It’s time to get rid of bad expectations that effectively block your courage and confidence. You have the right to live and dress how you want!

Let’s start at the very beginning, from childhood, because from an early age, we were subjected to continuous evaluation. As a little girl, you have no impact on how you look. You also don’t have the desired look. You don’t understand when adults are delighted with your appearance, or on the contrary, they point out (in their opinion) exceptions from the norms – out of the goodness of their hearts.

The truth is that these comments and comparisons stayed in you and built an image of what was good or bad and what was appropriate or unacceptable. You started to pick up moments in which you were praised and when you were disciplined. The opinion of others was already affecting your behavior. You had to face expectations attached to girls:

  • A girl should wear dresses.
  • A girl should look nice.
  • A girl should be gentle and polite.
  • A girl should play with dolls.
  • A girl shouldn’t be jumping the line.

You took those expectations deeply to heart and followed. They’ve been rooted in your consciousness and reflected on every next stage of your life…

In this picture, I was about 2. I’ve been bald for a long time. Did it bother me? No! Did it bother other people? Yes! I met with various comments, I remember! I cut my hair short for most of my life. My hair was one of my complexes. The child doesn’t forget. The child cherishes adult assessments completely unconsciously.

Being “richer” about stereotypes and beliefs, you began to grow up and mature. Your body underwent major changes. Menstruation was an event associated with so many unknowns! Shame and disorientation appeared because your girlfriends were changing differently. This fact didn’t escape the attention of colleagues at the school, who commented loudly on all changes taking place.

This was the time when you began to learn about your own body. You began a journey towards femininity, which was blocked by the fear and cult of a good girl who was carrying the expectations of adults on her shoulders.

On the one hand, you already knew that you were different than your friends, and on the other hand, you were approval-seeking from peers. You wanted to express yourself, but you didn’t know how. No one mentioned anything about style or how to discover yourself. There were no internet or fashion magazines. Each of us wanted to have what was currently fashionable: flare pants, khakis, hip hugger pants, wedges, sneakers, and T-shirts with our favorite bands.

Wanting to show yourself, you began to undergo a period of rebellion, which was effectively quenched by parents who directly criticized your look. You learned about style totally by yourself, based on beliefs in your circles: how to build outfits, which clothes are polished, elegant, casual, what suits you best and which colors are the best for you.

Not quite understanding your own style and body shape, you created rules that you tried to keep. You wanted to be a girl from the next door, but sexier (in a way acceptable for others). Every time you tried to change your look, you were more and more confused.

You didn’t know in which direction to go to get your desired look… The truth is that you didn’t know how you want to look. How could you trust your intuition when it was so different from the beliefs that you’ve followed the whole life?!

I’ve always loved dresses. Back then, I was mixing patterns to create a bold impression. Deep inside, I struggled with anorexia and self-confidence.

There was the time for your femininity to blossom, but you didn’t feel beautiful enough. Life has set new challenges for you to face. You lived according to the same stereotypes that were slowly becoming too overwhelming – polite, good, helpful, loving, supporting, caring, and humble… What about you and your needs? No one has ever mentioned it.

You have the right to be happy. You have the right to make mistakes. You have the right to your own opinion. You have the right to be naughty. You have the right to look sexy. You don’t have to wear dresses. You have the right to communicate your needs.

You have the right to play with colors. You have the right not to meet other people’s expectations. You have the right to say out loud: “Thank you for your concern, but I know what is best for me.” You set the rules. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. You have the right to own a wardrobe that opens doors! You are a woman and I’m so glad that you are.

Prepare a blank piece of paper and a pen. Write all the fashion beliefs that you have in relation to yourself, for example, I’m tall, so I can’t wear high heels, I’m petite, so I can’t wear maxi dresses, I’m 45, so I can’t wear colorful pumps, I don’t look good in yellow, red is not my color, white shirt is the essence of elegance.

Write everything down! Everything! And when you’re done, tear it up piece by piece. Let it be symbolic! This sheet contains false information that caused barriers and blocks on the way to your own style. I talk with women, and I know how many misconceptions haunt us and our wardrobes.

You won’t provoke a III War because you buy a red blazer! You won’t enhance hunger in the world because you buy a pair of skinny jeans. You won’t harm humans because you decide to invest in a cut off back dress. The world won’t stand upside down because you decide to discover yourself again!

The world can gain a happy and confident woman. You’re afraid, of course. Everything new seems scary, but you know what? When you experience fear you’re making changes! I know exactly how you feel right now. I’ve been there not so long ago.

Fashion is for you to play – do whatever you want! You won’t hurt anyone if you start experimenting with your look. Limits are only in your mind. Nobody thinks the way you do.

It’s time to open up to new things. Stop assuming that something isn’t right for you. Just try it on, mix with other clothes, play with shapes and fabrics. Give yourself a chance. You are no longer the little girl who listened to adults, you listen to yourself. You have nothing to lose, you can only gain.

You have a beautiful journey waiting for you, full of new visual experiences. And remember, I’m here to help! If you have any questions just write me an email or ask in the comment section below. I believe in you and the power of your femininity! Time to get to know yourself from new perspective.

Big hugs! Let the power be with you gorgeous!

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Magda Netkowska
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