22 Nov What do you want? Get CLEAR on what you truly desire!
Today I’m bringing up one of my favorite topics. When I was making notes and writing keywords for this post, I wanted to push the button – speed up. Unfortunately, there’s no such thing. 😂 I’m honored to invite you for today’s post about how to start dreaming, visualizing, and thinking about yourself. Let’s work it out!
Do you know what was my first observation after I started working with women? “We don’t know what we want.” Let me emphasize the word observation because this blog is free from judgments. What my client wants is the key information that helps me determine the best curse of action for her. 3 years ago, I couldn’t answer this question myself. And you know what? Back then I thought that “normal” people are having their lives figured out! Not true. It’s a serious struggle. Today I want to walk you through some facts and help you open up.
Yeap, that’s where I come in. 😊 Today we will talk about the vision, goals, and future that you create for yourself. We will break stereotypes and beliefs that cause fear and block the space for dreams and visions. I want to give you strength, courage, and confidence, so you stop sitting on your big idea.
First, however, I will show you the reasons why you feel blocked. So, from the moment you were born, you were introduced to certain rules dictated by family, society, and geographical conditions. What does that mean? That means that before you could find out who you are and what you want, you had beliefs and values that didn’t reflect your individual needs.
Look at it from the perspective of parents who welcome their child to the world. They want the best for him, right? They want to give him everything they didn’t have, right? But all this excitement and new situation make them forget that this child is an individual human being that has its own needs. Those needs can be radically different. The child doesn’t feel fear, doesn’t see the threats that are limiting parents. That’s the first time when you were influenced by other’s expectations.
At school, you realize that there is not much room for creativity and self-work. With each passing year, you discover that your work is being evaluated and your efforts are not always understood. You discover that more talented kids are favored. You perceive rewards and punishments for good and bad grades. You also experience competition with other kids. What does that teach you? I’m supposed to do that… I’m supposed to be like that…
How on earth are you supposed to take bold steps and open yourself in adult life? At school, they weren’t very interested in what you had to say. How are you supposed to deal with situations in which something goes wrong? At school, only good grades counted, no matter what you understood.
And somewhere in the middle, you move between stereotypes and beliefs, handed down from generation to generation. There is hidden fear in our genes. It’s out of your control. One of these stereotypes is the belief that: in life, you have to work hard, good things don’t happen naturally, stay in the line with others, and here my all-time favorite one – studies and a permanent contract in a big company will ensure the safety of life.
Do you see what I’m trying to say? The crisis has to happen! You touch the bottom, reach the highest level of insecurity, and miss the vision and purpose to see that you’ve been playing too small. Everyone goes through the same crisis in their lives. Only time is different.
I remember lying on the bed, crying because I didn’t know what to do with my life. I hated my job. I didn’t want to go back there, but I thought I had no choice. I was afraid to dream and I got scared! I had no savings and I had no idea what else I could be doing. Typical stereotype thinking – I DON’T HAVE, I DON’T OWN, I DON’T KNOW ENOUGH. Do you feel the same? The good news is – things can change! ❤️
You have to focus on what you want, not how to get it. It’s not your job to have all the answers. Your job is to chase excitement. The right opportunities, situations, and people will appear when you discover what you want.
Sure, it’s not that easy. Fear, uncertainty, and rational thinking can confuse your mind. But listen – you answer the question of what you want, not how you get there. Give yourself space for big dreams. Think beyond your present life. Feel the excitement about the woman you want to become.
Now, grab a piece of paper and a pen. You will write about your dreams. But before you start, I prepared a few facts, which – I hope – will shift your perspective:
Your current situation is not your future.
Forget about your current situation. Here and now has nothing to do with your future. Focus on the emotions you want to feel in your life. Think about the people you want to surround yourself with. Imagine the places you want to be. Unlimited possibilities. You don’t sign a lifetime loan here! Kidding, a little. It’s about your future and a new path, which is super exciting!
Think beyond society structures.
Forget about what is appropriate. Forget about the wisdom beyond the seven falls. Don’t think what others are doing. Don’t focus on what didn’t work out so far. You have to break through a wall of stereotypes and beliefs that were never yours. I wrote about it at the beginning.
Forget about what you think you’re ready for now. Here and now is not part of the future. Don’t let your education, money, experience, or knowledge stop you. These are blocks that don’t matter in the long term. You don’t know who, where, and when you will meet in your life.
You don’t have to explain yourself.
These are your dreams! Don’t think whether your family, friends, or boss will like it. Until you stop thinking about others, you won’t start thinking about yourself. Your dreams may seem irrational. So what? Everyone has the right to their own opinion. Your life is happening to you.
Judgment is when you assume that there is a good and bad solution. Never judge the ideas and dreams that come to your mind. You don’t know what may happen in a few months! When you judge your dreams, you shoot yourself in the knee. In both cases, you won’t take steps after… Be open to whatever idea appears in your head. Always.
Don’t seek validation from others.
It often happens that if you mention your plans, you hear that you should get down to earth. And as a result, you stop dreaming. What you want is different from what people want you to want. Nobody has your passions and needs. Why seek acceptance of your future from others? It’s all within you.
If you are afraid of the reaction of your husband, children or friends, let’s do a small visualization. Imagine that your husband comes to you and says: “Honey, my work is not giving me joy anymore. It doesn’t bring me satisfaction that I deserve. I catch myself on thinking that I don’t belong there. I also see that my work affects our family life and you deserve to get what’s best! So I want to share my new idea with you right now. I’m going to do the Stainless Steel Specialist Training course and open my locksmith shop. I’m aware that means poorer time for a while. However, I am convinced that this will work! Right now, I’m asking for your support, understanding, and help. I don’t have all the answers ready yet, so I need you to trust me.”
Ok, I know that’s the dream answer, 😂 but do you see that when you make the right decision, your family and friends will support you? They will feel your energy and follow the idea with you.
Don’t beat yourself up.
I got to be honest – your actions didn’t bring the effect you desire. Time to let go! Would you criticize anyone else in the same way? I bet you wouldn’t. If it were anyone else, you’d probably offer your shoulder and support with a good word. Can you relax and be easy for yourself? All you need, my dear is good energy, space, time, and love. From you, for you.
What your heart is telling you?
Your heart knows you better than you think! The best guide you can have. Top rating on Tripadvisor. If you find 10 minutes of silence during the day – alone with your thoughts – you will find that, besides your duties and worrying about the whole world, there is room for you. What’s the rhythm of your heart? Can you follow the beat?
Your intuition is stronger than social structures. You don’t have to be perfect. Once you understand that, you learn how to dream.
When in doubt, think of what you don’t want.
A great way to eliminate emotions, people, tasks you don’t want. That’s something! You can use it as a ground for looking for ideas that won’t take you to the place you don’t want to be.
Woooowwww, what a thrill! Time to write down all the things, situations, and people that brought joy, and love into your life. It’s the first step to find out what you want. If nothing comes to your mind, I have prepared additional questions for you:
What makes you feel good? What are your intentions? What makes your heart beat faster? Whenas the last time you felt satisfied? When did you cry the tears of joy? Which emotions do you want to experience more in your life? What people do you want to attract? Which hours of work are the best for you? Do you want to be a boss or an employee? Do you want to create creative things or improve what has already been done? Do you want to manage a team or work individually? Do you want to travel and work on different continents or working in an office? View of the sea or mountains? Do you want to eat cashew porridge in the morning or drink champagne and eat oysters? Do you want to be in a relationship or single? Do you want to learn or teach others?
“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.”- RalphWaldo Emerson
The – What do I want? question requires details. Need a real-life example? Let’s say that my answer would be something like this – I want to teach a language and live abroad. This is not specific enough for me to start designing my future in this direction. It’s an impulse for me to go deeper. Which language do I want to teach and where I want to live? You want to get as many details as possible to take advantage of the right opportunities.
Honestly? I wish someone would tap my shoulder 3 years ago and say – “Learn to dream girl! You are too harsh on yourself.” So today, I am saying this to you:
Start dreaming! It’s already there. Find it and feel it!😍
Powered by love,
P.S. A HUGE thank you for reading. I’m super excited to hear from you, so leave your comment below!